2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

SPONSORS: Visit https://betterhelp.com/bears to get 10% off your first month. Download the DraftKings Sports app and use code BEARS. New DraftKings customers can spend five and get two hundred in total bonuses paid within 21 days – includes all markets. Get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at https://square.com/go/bears! #squarepod Get out there and enjoy the outdoors with Mountain Dew. An American Original. Tasting Great Since ’48. Look for Mountain Dew in stores near you. This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer check in with Tom in Austin and Bert in New York for the Food & Wine Festival. Tom opens by tackling the Shane Gillis backlash from his SNL monologue, while Bert tries to stay out of it for once (he just really loves those pants). The Bears react to the livestreamed execution of the Fort Hood shooter getting called off. Then Bert declares himself Team Katie for new White House press secretary Katie Zacharia, from her shaky first briefing to her gym pics and the bar…

SPONSORS: If your revenues are at least in the seven figures, get our free business guide, Aligning for the Agentic Era: How AI Is Changing Everyday Work, at https://netsuite.com/BEARS. Start your free online visit today at http://hims.com/bears for personalized care-from hair to ED to weight loss and more. Thanks to MANSCAPED® for sponsoring today’s episode! Get The Lawn Mower® Ultra Gen 6 for 15% OFF + Free Shipping with code BEARS at https://Manscaped.com! Sign up for your free Shopify trial at https://shopify.com/bears This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer check in from the road, with Tom in Atlanta and Bert in Philly on his Permission to Party World Tour. The Bears debate whether they'll watch the Pentagon's livestreamed firing squad execution of the Fort Hood shooter, then dig into the SiriusXM Raw Dog Radio shakeup that had comics coming after Sebastian Maniscalco, and how one video turned into Bert starting a comedians union (Leanne is handling it). From there, Bert swears he'll…

SPONSORS: Head to https://BlueChew.com and buy two months of BlueChew Gold you get the third FREE with promo code BEARS. Protect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get up to $3 million in coverage in as little as 10 minutes at https://ethos.com/BEARS . Application times may vary. Rates may vary. Trustpilot rating as of 6/1/2025. This episode is sponsored by Betterhelp. Get 10% off your first month. Visit https://betterhelp.com/bears to explore your payment options. Sign up for your free trial at https://shopify.com/bears Sign up now and join over 14 million people already investing with Acorns. New customers get a $20 bonus investment just for signing up. Head to https://acorns.com/bears to claim your $20 bonus today. Limited time offer. Terms and conditions apply. See https://acorns.com/terms for details. This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer call in from opposite ends of the map: Tom on a day off from his movie in Atlanta, Bert from Cleveland's Rocket Mortgage arena. Bert…

Presale tickets for Toms new tour Preposterous go live September 30th at 10am. Make sure to get yours over at https://tomsegura.com/tour and use code: TOMMY SPONSORS: Head to https://superpower.com/bears for $50 off your membership. Get 150+ biomarkers tested every year plus a personalized health plan and on-demand care team. Detect early signs of 1,000+ conditions. #superpowerpod Start learning a new language TODAY with Babbel. Right now listeners can save up to 60% off at https://Babbel.com/BEARS. Get out there and enjoy the outdoors with Mountain Dew. An American Original. Tasting Great Since ’48. Look for Mountain Dew in stores near you. If your revenues are at least in the seven figures, get our free business guide, Aligning for the Agentic Era: How AI Is Changing Everyday Work, at https://netsuite.com/BEARS . Get started with ShipStation today and get sixty days free at https://ShipStation.com, with code cave. This week, Tom is off somewhere, so Bert Kreischer is joined by the legendary Rob Lowe, back…

SPONSORS: New DraftKings customers, sign up with code BEARS, spend five bucks to get $150 in rewards within 14 days - includes all markets. Get your free quote at https://ethos.com/BEARS. Let’s eat real. Head to https://factormeals.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50 percent off and 1 free breakfast item per box for 1 year, while supplies last until 10/31/2026. See website for more details. Sign up and get 10% off at https://BetterHelp.com/bears. Start learning a new language TODAY with Babbel. Right now listeners can save up to 60% off at https://babbel.com/BEARS. Get out there and enjoy the outdoors with Mountain Dew. An American Original. Tasting Great Since ’48. Look for Mountain Dew in stores near you. This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer are on separate sides of the country, but still together in our hearts. Tom's about to film a movie and Bert's been running his takes through ChatGPT before he says them out loud, which still doesn't stop LeeAnn and his daughters…

Check out Hoop and Huddle, YMH Studios' new comedy sports show, hosted by comedians Luke Touma & Nate Marshall. Two friends talking basketball, football, and whatever ruined their weekend. Less "analysts breaks down the tape," more "your boys yelling at the TV." https://www.youtube.com/@UCdaQbXFKAuvKcZcwieo8A6A SPONSORS: Thanks to MANSCAPED® for sponsoring today’s episode! Get The Lawn Mower® Ultra Gen 6 for 15% OFF + Free Shipping with code BEARS at https://Manscaped.com! The DraftKings Sports app is now live in all 50 states! Head to https://dkng.co/bears For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://hims.com/bears Sign up and get 10% off at https://BetterHelp.com/bears. Get out there and enjoy the outdoors with Mountain Dew. An American Original. Tasting Great Since ’48. Look for Mountain Dew in stores near you. Welcome back to the cave! Hunter Biden says he's 48% gay, which raises the only question that matters: what percent are you?…

SPONSORS: Don’t let your mind get in the way of a good time. Discover your options at https://BlueChew.com Visit https://ethos.com/BEARS Sign up for your free trial at https://shopify.com/bears Sign up now and join over 14 million people already investing with Acorns. New customers get a $20 bonus investment just for signing up. Head to https://acorns.com/bears to claim your $20 bonus today. Limited time offer. Terms and conditions apply. See https://acorns.com/terms for details. New DraftKings customers, sign up with code BEARS spend five bucks to get $200 in rewards within 21 days - includes all markets. Welcome back to 2 Bears 1 Cave! This week Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer dive right in with Jelly Roll's headline-grabbing Kimmel monologue where he addressed the president as "from one fat pig to another." Bert then takes full credit for Jelly Roll's weight loss and the entire genesis of the Two Bears 5K, because technically he was in the room when that casually became a thing. They also have exciting…

SPONSORS: https://dkng.co/bears New DraftKings customers, sign up with code BEARS spend five bucks to get $200 in rewards within 21 days, includes all markets. For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://hims.com/bears If your revenues are at least in the seven figures, go to https://netsuite.ai/bears. Visit https://Betterhelp.com/BEARS. Get started with ShipStation today and get sixty days free at https://ShipStation.com, with code cave. Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer are back in the cave and surprise surprise, Bert opens with a confession: he wishes he'd never quit drinking. What follows is a full inventory of the modern male brain, the online pastor Tom watches every morning to get inspired, why 17-year-olds have no business being nostalgic for anything, the exact moment each of them gave up on playing pro sports, and why comedians never seem to get that same reality check. The guys break down Bert's Whoop addiction and the blood clot…

SPONSORS: Look for Mountain Dew in stores near you at https://mountaindew.com Thanks to MANSCAPED for sponsoring today’s video! Get The Beard Hedger Plus for 15% OFF + Free Shipping with code “BEARS” at https://Manscaped.com! Start your free trial at https://SHOPIFY.COM/bears For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://hims.com/bears for your free online visit. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit https://Betterhelp.com/BEARS. Head to https://FACTORMEALS.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50 percent off and 1 free breakfast item per box for 1 year, while supplies last until 10/31/2026. https://babbel.com/BEARS for up to 60% off. Rules and restrictions may apply. This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer celebrate Bert officially entering the Guinness Book of World Records for The Machine, possibly the most performed signature story in comedy history, and immediately spiral into the comedy record arms…

SPONSORS: Don’t let your mind get in the way of a good time. Discover your options at https://BlueChew.com Shopify: Turns out you don’t need a real job. Build your own business with a free trialat http://shopify.com/bears Head to https://acorns.com/bears or download the Acorns app to get started. New DraftKings customers, sign up with code BEARS spend five bucks to get one hundred fifty in rewards within 14 days, includes all markets. Over at https://dkng.co/bears. For a limited time, our listeners get 50% off FOR LIFE, Free Shipping, AND 3 Free Gifts at Mars Men at http://Mengotomars.com. This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer are back in the cave after eight weeks apart, and they open with a full review of The Odyssey, Lupita Nyong'o as Helen of Troy, Matt Damon's rogue Boston accent, and why Jon Bernthal is Hollywood's most legendary napper. From there, Bert unveils his billionaire rebrand (Sabah shoes, LBJ Stetsons, and the top five shoes billionaires wear this fall) before getting…

SPONSORS: Don’t let your mind get in the way of a good time. Discover your options at https://BlueChew.com Visit https://ethos.com/BEARS Enjoy the refreshing citrus kick of Mountain Dew, an American Original. Tasting Great Since ’48. Look for Mountain Dew in stores near you at https://mountaindew.com Sponsored by BetterHelp. Sign up and get 10% off at https://betterhelp.com/bears Get started with ShipStation today and get sixty days free at https://shipstation.com, with code cave. If your revenues are at least in the seven figures, go to https://NetSuite.AI/BEARS. Head to Factormeals.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50% off. This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer compare their two very different eras of being fat, Tom's custom-made fat guy shirts, hard visceral fat vs. soft fat, and why losing weight made everyone think Tom got lip injections. Bert's sober documentary binge takes them from Patient Zero "Gay Tom" spreading AIDS across the Air Canada route map to Concorde…

SPONSORS: Enjoy the refreshing citrus kick of Mountain Dew, an American Original. Tasting Great Since ’48. Look for Mountain Dew in stores near you at https://mountaindew.com Thanks to MANSCAPED for sponsoring today’s video! Get The Beard Hedger Plus for 15% OFF + Free Shipping with code “BEARS” at https://Manscaped.com! For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://hims.com/bears Sign up now and Acorns will boost your new account with a $5 bonus investment. Join the over 14 million all-time customers who have already saved and invested over $27 billion dollars with Acorns. Head to https://acorns.com/bears or download the Acorns app to get started. Sponsored by BetterHelp. Sign up and get 10% off at https://betterhelp.com/bears Start your free trial at https://shopify.com/bears This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer spiral through Bert's newest crisis: figuring out which musicians would actually like him. After Lou Reed…

SPONSORS: Look for American Dew limited-time packaging or find it in stores near you at https://mountaindew.com Don't sleep on @‌ultrapouches. New customers get 15% Off with code BEARS at https://takeultra.com! #UltraPouches #ad New DraftKings customers, sign up with code BEARS spend five bucks to get two hundred in rewards within 21 days. https://dkng.co/bears For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/BEARS. Get up to 60% off at https://Babbel.com/BEARS Order a bottle of Por Osos and some killer merch online https://drinkporosos.com This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer dig into the wild, unexpected Black audience response to Bad Thoughts Season 2, Tom debuting his "out of your control" philosophy on how comedy lands, and a hilarious accounting of which comedians did and didn't text Bert about his new show. Bert opens up about getting nastier and setting harder boundaries in sobriety, comparing himself to…

SPONSORS: Look for American Dew limited-time packaging or find it in stores near you at https://mountaindew.com Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/bears For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/BEARS Sponsored by BetterHelp. Sign up and get 10% off at https://betterhelp.com/bears If your revenues are at least in the seven figures, get our free business guide, Demystifying AI, at https://www.netsuite.com/bears New DraftKings customers, sign up with code BEARS spend five bucks to get two hundred in rewards within 21 days. https://dkng.co/bears This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer celebrate Por Osos landing in Publix just in time for the 4th of July, which sends Bert into a full nostalgic spiral about pub subs, boat days, and taking his daughters into "international waters." From there, things get historical, the bears break down the story of the guy…

Gape your 4th eye with Kurt Metzger and Duncan Trussell's new podcast Mystery Boys and get to the bottom of what's really going on in the world: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-i3EV1v5hLfZinN-4ZV4wmZ862wupBWF Also, check out Tom's new bakery, Ciccio Bomba, at the new third location at 1100 South Lamar Blvd in Austin, right across from the Alamo Drafthouse. SPONSORS: - Sign up now and Acorns will boost your new account with a $5 bonus investment. Join the over 14 million all-time customers who have already saved and invested over $27 billion dollars with Acorns. Head to acorns.com/bears or download the Acorns app to get started. - Protect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get up to $3 million in coverage in as little as 10 minutes at https://ethos.com/BEARS. Application times may vary. Rates may vary. - Don’t let your mind get in the way of a good time. Discover your options at https://BlueChew.com - Right now, Babbel is offering listeners up to 60% off. Go to https://Babbel.com/BEARS -…

The End is here! Ari's new storytelling show is $5.99 per episode at https://theend.ymhstudios.com. There's a total of 7 episodes for you to enjoy! Check out Joe DeRosa's new podcast Vile and Horrendous Pull up a chair and listen to what Joe does best: piss and moan! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWvLI8xCAa0 Also, check out Tom's new bakery, Ciccio Bomba, at the new third location at 1100 South Lamar Blvd in Austin, right across from the Alamo Drafthouse. SPONSORS: - 🌎 Get an exclusive 15% discount on Saily data plans! Use code bears at checkout. Download Saily app or go to https://saily.com/bears ⛵ - Thanks to MANSCAPED for sponsoring today’s video! Get The Beard Hedger® Plus for 15% OFF + Free Shipping with code “BEARS” at https://Manscaped.com! - Sponsored by BetterHelp. Sign up and get 10% off at https://betterhelp.com/bears. - For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/BEARS. - Get sixty days free at…

The End is here! Ari's new storytelling show is $5.99 per episode at https://theend.ymhstudios.com. There's a total of 7 episodes for you to enjoy! Check out Joe DeRosa's new podcast Vile and Horrendous Pull up a chair and listen to what Joe does best: piss and moan! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWvLI8xCAa0 SPONSORS: - Brought to you by BetterHelp. Sign up and get 10% off at https://betterhelp.com/bears. - Don’t let your mind get in the way of a good time. Discover your options at https://BlueChew.com - Get up to 60% off at https://Babbel.com/BEARS. - Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/bears - Protect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get up to $3 million in coverage in as little as 10 minutes at https://ethos.com/BEARS. Application times may vary. Rates may vary. - Head to https://acorns.com/bears or download the Acorns app to get started. This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Tim and Bart go up in smoke, sharing cigars together as they talk about…

The End is Ari's new storytelling show! And it's finally here! Only at https://theend.ymhstudios.com/ . Get 7 full, hour long episodes of completely unfiltered stories for $29.99. Get it now! SPONSORS: - Go to https://ShipStation.com and use code cave for sixty days for free! - For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/BEARS. - Text BEARS to 64000 to get 20% off all IQBAR products, plus FREE shipping. Message and data rates may apply. - Get 15% OFF your entire order @‌MANSCAPED with promo code BEARS at https://manscaped.com! #ManscapedPartner #TCSociety - Brought to you by BetterHelp. When life feels overwhelming, therapy can help. Sign up and get 10% off at https://BetterHelp.com/bears. - Order a bottle of Por Osos and some killer merch online https://drinkporosos.com Welcome back to 2 Bears 1 Cave! This week, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer are joined by the always unpredictable Ari Shaffir, dropping in to promote “The End”, a…

The End is Ari's new storytelling show! It's almost here! Premieres April 16 on https://theend.ymhstudios.com/ . Presale pricing only available for a short time! You get 7 full, hour long episodes of completely unfiltered stories for $24.99. Afterwards, the price will increase so get it now! SPONSORS: - Protect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get up to $3 million in coverage in as little as 10 minutes at https://ethos.com/BEARS . Application times may vary. Rates may vary. - Get 10% off your first month of BlueChew Gold with code BEARS. https://bluechew.com - Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/bears - Brought to you by BetterHelp. When life feels overwhelming, therapy can help. Sign up and get 10% off at https://BetterHelp.com/bears. - Get up to 60% off at https://Babbel.com/BEARS. - Join the over 14 million all-time customers who have already saved and invested over $27 billion dollars with Acorns. Head to https://acorns.com/bears or…

SPONSORS: - Protect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get up to $3 million in coverage in as little as 10 minutes at https://ethos.com/BEARS . Application times may vary. Rates may vary. - For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/BEARS. - Join the over 14 million all-time customers who have already saved and invested over $27 billion dollars with Acorns. Head to https://acorns.com/bears or download the Acorns app to get started. - Your emotional wellbeing matters. Find support and feel lighter in therapy. Sign up and get 10% off at https://BetterHelp.com/bears. - Learn a new Language and get up to 60% off your subscription at https://Babbel.com/BEARS - Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/bears In this episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Bert Kreischer and Tom Segura cover everything from Bert’s sorta sober lifestyle, weight loss, sleep improvement, and 5K training to…

SPONSORS: - Sponsored by Pepsi. Go try Pepsi Zero Sugar today. Let Your Taste Decide. - Protect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get up to $3 million in coverage in as little as 10 minutes at https://ethos.com/BEARS. Application times may vary. Rates may vary. - Get 10% off your first month of BlueChew Gold with code BEARS at https://bluechew.com - Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/bears - Sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp makes it easy to get matched online with a qualified therapist. Sign up and get 10% off at https://BetterHelp.com/bears - Head to https://factormeals.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50 percent off and free breakfast for a year. - Get up to 55% off at https://Babbel.com/BEARS. This week on Two Bears, One Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer spiral gloriously through brand loyalty, fast-food hot takes, donuts, Super Bowl commercials, health scares, and the kind of brutally honest conversations only best…

SPONSORS: - Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS. - Protect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get up to $3 million in coverage in as little as 10 minutes at https://ethos.com/BEARS. Application times may vary. Rates may vary. - Sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp makes it easy to get matched online with a qualified therapist. Sign up and get 10% off at https://BetterHelp.com/bears - Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/bears The OG Bears are back on this absolutely unhinged episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave! Bert Kreischer and Tom Segura dive headfirst into VR porn disasters, accidental virtual orgies, and the terrifying realization that Oculus might actually be ending humanity. Bert recounts a weekend alone that spirals into nine virtual orgies, soul-stealing eye contact, and panic-induced controller fumbling in a pitch-black…

SPONSORS: - Get 10% off your first month of BlueChew Gold with code BEARS. Visit https://bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. - Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS. - This January, quit overspending on wireless with 50% off Unlimited premium wireless. Plans start at $15/month at https://mintmobile.com/BEARS. - Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/bears It’s the final Winter Bears of the season, and Stavros & Chris are ringing in the New Year the only way they know how: complaining about first class, overeating pastries, and making terrible life decisions! As 2025 wraps, the boys reflect on blown resolutions, chaotic travel plans, New Jersey “vacations,” and Chris’ catastrophic decision to roast the entire Jersey Shore cast. Plus: Delta lounge politics, childhood SNL trauma, double-the-bread-double-the-head,…

SPONSORS: - New Year, New Me! Get Huel for FIFTEEN PERCENT OFF with this exclusive offer for New Customers only with code BEARS at https://huel.com/bears (Minimum $75 purchase). The Winter Bears Stavros Halkias and Chris Distefano return for another completely unhinged takeover of 2 Bears 1 Cave. With Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer nowhere to be found, the guys openly admit they once again didn’t prepare, and then immediately spiral into bread rankings, prostate exams, STD horror stories, religion, celebrity gossip, and the most deranged podcast business ideas ever pitched. From focaccia-based trauma, to almost doing business with Jeffrey Epstein’s brother, this episode goes fully off the rails and never checks the map again. Hit subscribe, brace yourself, and remember: this episode exists only because someone might need it someday. https://www.instagram.com/stavvybaby2 https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 321 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour…

SPONSORS: - If you’re 21 or older, get 25% OFF your first order + free shipping @IndaCloud with code BEARS at https://inda.shop/BEARS! #indacloudpod - For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/BEARS. - Order a bottle of Por Osos and some killer merch online https://drinkporosos.com Merry Winter Bears-mas! Stavros Halkias and Chris Distefano take over 2 Bears 1 Cave while Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer are away, and immediately turn it into a holiday fever dream. The Winter Bears dive into chaotic Christmas traditions, Jewish Christmas supremacy, family trauma, weight-loss delusion, wild childhood memories, and the politics of gift-giving. Along the way, they spiral into ancestry revelations, Oldboy-level revenge fantasies, questionable parenting strategies, croissant mukbangs, and an all-time debate over the perfect Christmas Chinese food order. Grab a pastry and strap in — this might be the most unhinged holiday episode in 2…

SPONSORS: - Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS - Protect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get your free quote at https://Ethos.com/BEARS - Head to https://DRINKAG1.com/BEARS you’ll get the welcome kit, a Morning Person hat, a bottle of Vitamin D3+K2, a AG1 Flavor Sampler and you’ll get to try their new sleep supplement AGZ for free. - Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/bears. Christmas CAME early! The Summer Bears are now the *Winter Bears* and they have returned to phone it in and fulfill some contractually obligated laughs. Chris Distefano and Stavros Halkias invade YMH Studios to talk awful breakfast decisions, Bert’s cruise from hell, fat-guy medicine science, Husky-induced life chaos, bombing on MTV, fighting GLP-1 drugs, Mike Tyson saving Big Pun at The Tunnel, and why both of them should never own pets, houses, or functioning digestive…

SPONSORS: - Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at https://bluechew.com - If you’re 21 or older, get 25% OFF your first order + free shipping @IndaCloud with code BEARS at https://inda.shop/BEARS! #indacloudpod - For a limited time Hollow Socks is having a Buy 2, Get 2 Free Sale. Head to https://hollowsocks.com/ today to check out their huge sale. #HollowSockspod - Get 15% OFF your entire order with code BEARS at https://Manscaped.com. - Anyway, if you want to try Rho Nutrition’s NAD+, the Glutathione, whatever, they’re giving 20% off with the code BEARS at https://rhonutrition.com/discount/BEARS This week, Bert’s wasting away, Tom’s tucking in his shirts, and the Bears are going into hibernation for the winter. Before that good news, Bert breaks down losing 25 lbs in a month, projectile-vomiting in airport bathrooms, and Tom producing Olympic-level protein farts. Tom also talks his new pastry empire and defends his son’s obsession with suits and hair product; along the way they dive…

SPONSORS: - Go to https://HelloFresh.com/bears10fm now to Get 10 Free Meals + a Free breakfast for Life! - Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at https://bluechew.com This week, Bert Kreischer sits down with musician Marcus King for a wild, emotional ride—naked ocean stories with Navy SEALs, cocaine confessions, microdosing mushrooms, Southern rock rankings, and why internet comments haunt grown men at 3AM. Plus: TikTok ruining music, therapy drunk, and Bert accidentally following people who hate him. Check it out! 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 317 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:30 - Southern Rock & Creating Your Own Lane 00:07:01 - Marcus' Process, New Album, & Otis Redding 00:14:55 - Cigars With James Earl Jones 00:17:47 - Sobriety, Microdosing, & Losing the Sparkle 00:29:52 - Loving Yourself While The Internet Hates You 00:42:43 - Ranking Southern Rock Bands 00:49:44 - TikTok Ruining Music & Comedy…

SPONSORS: - Protect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get your free quote at https://ethos.com/bears - Eat smart at https://FactorMeals.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50% off your first box, plus Free Breakfast for 1 Year. - Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS. - Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/bears. ‌ In this powerful and surprisingly emotional episode of 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tom Segura sits down with Louis C.K. to discuss his new novel Ingram, the creative process behind writing fiction, and the brutal emotional reality of loneliness and childhood struggle. Louis explains why he quit stand-up for over a year, how stepping away from the stage changed his life, and what ultimately pulled him back into comedy. The conversation dives deep into fear, pain, trauma, comedy philosophy, empathy, war stories, emotional burnout, and why the…

SPONSORS: - Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/bears - If you’re 21 or older, get 40% OFF your first order + free shipping @‌IndaCloud with code BEARS at https://inda.shop/BEARS ! #indacloudpod - Head to https://DRINKAG1.com/BEARS to get a FREE Welcome Kit with an AG1 Flavor Sampler and a bottle of Vitamin D3 plus K2, when you first subscribe! - Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/bears ‌ Tom Segura returns to the cave with the one-and-only Kirk Fox, comedian, actor, and possibly a future Supermax inmate, depending on how you interpret this episode. The two dive into Kirk’s accidental tennis-career-turned-acting path, his eccentric family upbringing (outdoor showers, blood-written memorials, and a grandma in a box), and his lifelong dream of becoming either an FBI profiler or a serial killer — whichever opportunity arrives first. From Waymo self-driving cars acting like drunk Uber drivers to territorial pissings, choke etiquette, BTK, Tommy Lynn…

Tom will be filming his new stand-up special in Milwaukee at The Riverside Theater on November 14th & 15th! Tickets are still available in Milwaukee for the November 14th show. Go get your tickets now at https://tomsegura.com/tour . SPONSORS: -Take advantage of Ridge’s Biggest Sale of the Year and GET UP TO 47% Off by going to https://www.Ridge.com/CAVE #Ridgepod -Get $10 Off @‌BRUNT with code CAVE at https://www.bruntworkwear.com/CAVE #BRUNTpod -Give the gift of smooth this holiday season with the Performance Package 5.0 Ultra. Get 15% off + free shipping at https://Manscaped.com with code BEARS. -Order a bottle of Por Osos and some killer merch online https://drinkporosos.com This week, Bert sits down with the one and only Mel Robbins for a brutally honest, hilarious, and surprisingly deep conversation about anxiety, cheating, parenting, and learning how to “let them.” From wild college confessions to Mel breaking down her Let Them Theory in real time, this episode is half therapy, half comedy, and all…

Tom will be filming his new stand-up special in Milwaukee at The Riverside Theater on November 14th & 15th! Tickets are still available in Milwaukee for the November 14th show. Go get your tickets now at https://tomsegura.com/tour. SPONSORS: - Protect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get your free quote at https://Ethos.com/BEARS - Get your first month of BlueChew FREE Just use promo code BEARS at checkout and pay five bucks for shipping https://bluechew.com - Sponsored by BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/bears - Right now, get our free business guide, Demystifying AI, at https://Netsuite.com/BEARS. - Eat smart at https://FactorMeals.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50% off your first box, plus Free Breakfast for 1 Year. Bert Kreischer celebrates turning 53 the only way he knows how — by spiraling into an existential and hilarious conversation with comedian and cosmic philosopher Duncan Trussell. From tales of Bigfoot and testicular…

Tom will be filming his new stand-up special in Milwaukee at The Riverside Theater on November 14th & 15th! Tickets are still available in Milwaukee for the November 14th show. Go get your tickets now at https://tomsegura.com/tour. SPONSORS: - Get $10 Off at BRUNT with code CAVE at https://www.bruntworkwear.com/CAVE #bruntpod - Eat smart at https://FactorMeals.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50% off your first box, plus Free Breakfast for 1 Year. - Order a bottle of Por Osos and some killer merch online https://drinkporosos.com This week, Tom Segura sits down with WWE legend Mark Calloway — better known to millions as The Undertaker — for one of the most fascinating and hilarious deep dives ever on 2 Bears 1 Cave. From the grind of early wrestling days to the creation of one of the most iconic characters in sports entertainment, this episode is pure gold for wrestling fans and comedy lovers alike. The Undertaker opens up about his unlikely path from college basketball to the squared circle, the…

TEXAS! Tom will be in Amarillo at the Amarillo Civic Center Complex on November 1st, then November 2nd in Lubbock at Buddy Holly Hall and El Paso at the Abraham Chavez Theatre on November 6th. Go get your tickets now at https://tomsegura.com/tour. SPONSORS: - Head to https://DRINKAG1.com/BEARS to get a FREE Welcome Kit, including a bottle of Vitamin D and free AG1 Travel Packs, when you first subscribe! - Protect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get up to $3 million in coverage in as little as 10 minutes at https://ethos.com/BEARS. Application times may vary. Rates may vary. - Sponsored by BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/bears - Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/bears. This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Bort sits down with comedy legend Sebastian Maniscalco for one of the funniest, most honest conversations yet. They dive deep into Sebastian’s new stand-up special filmed at the United Center, what it takes to stay passionate…

Attention Hanover, MD! Tommy Buns is coming to The Hall At Live! Casino, Sunday, October 19. Get tickets now at https://tomsegura.com/tour SPONSORS: - Upgrade your wallet today! Get 10% Off @Ridge with code CAVE at https://ridge.com/CAVE #ridgepod - Stop overpaying and start saving with Ownwell. Sign up in 3 minutes at https://Ownwell.com/bears - If you’re 21 or older, grab 30% off your first order plus free shipping with code BEARS at https://indacloud.co - Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS. Bert Kreischer sits down with YouTuber and social media personality, Funny Marco for one of the most effortlessly hilarious and unexpectedly deep conversations on 2 Bears, 1 Cave. The two dive into everything from guessing celebrity ages and debating who the sexiest comedian is, to the weird psychology of fame, strip club etiquette, and why Ice Cube has never smiled in a movie. Marco opens up…

Attention Hanover, MD! Tommy Buns is coming to The Hall At Live! Casino, Sunday, October 19. Get tickets now at https://tomsegura.com/tour SPONSORS: - As always, get your first month of BlueChew FREE Just use promo code BEARS at checkout and pay five bucks for shipping. https://bluechew.com -Sponsored by BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/bears - Download the CFO’s Guide to AI and Machine Learning for FREE at https://NetSuite.com/BEARS. This week, Bert and Tom dive headfirst into the weirdest brain rot rabbit holes yet — from testing out VR porn ("you can see her fillings!") to auditioning more OnlyFans submissions, one of which that includes… a unique Por Osos bottle cameo. The Bears also pitch a business idea for a grown-man “locker room,” debate how Bert's woke daughters compare to Tom's redneck sons, and discover the world’s wildest dogs and cats. Plus: Jelly Roll’s 5K transformation, Savannah cats that look like mini-lions, and Bert’s desperate plan to…

Attention Hanover, MD! Tommy Buns is coming to The Hall At Live! Casino, Sunday, October 19. Get tickets now at https://tomsegura.com/tour SPONSORS: - Upgrade to ShipStation today to get a sixty-day free trial at https://www.shipstation.com/cave. - Eat smart at https://FactorMeals.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50% off your first box, plus Free Breakfast for 1 Year. - For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, ED, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/BEARS. - Upgrade your wardrobe and save on @trueclassic at https://trueclassic.com/BEARS! #trueclassicpod This week, Tom Segura is joined by one of the greatest one-liner comedians in the world, Jimmy Carr! Tom and Jimmy dive deep into the craft of comedy, comparing Carr's laser-focused joke construction to Bert Kreischer's chaotic storytelling. Jimmy reveals his controversial (and hilarious) take on marijuana legalization—mandating it for people over 50—and the tragic role of "cheap dopamine" in modern…

SPONSORS: - Protect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get up to $3 million in coverage in as little as 10 minutes at https://ethos.com/BEARS. Application times may vary. Rates may vary. - Sponsored by BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/bears - Upgrade to ShipStation today to get a sixty-day free trial at https://www.shipstation.com/cave. - If you’re 21+, try VIIA! For 15% off AND a free gift with your first order head to https://viia.co/BEARS and use code BEARS! #viiaparter In this episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave, James Gunn joins Tom Segura to talk filmmaking and the state of the entertainment industry. Gunn opens up about directing Superman, the pressures behind it, and the relief of its success. He also discusses his role as co-head of DC Studios, building a decade-long DC universe, and the bold choice to reshoot five and a half episodes of Peacemaker with a new Vigilante. Tom and James bond over grounded storytelling, casting decisions, and the balance…

SPONSORS: - Head to https://acorns.com/BEARS or download the Acorns app to get started. - Upgrade your wardrobe and save on @trueclassic at https://trueclassic.com/BEARS! #trueclassicpod - Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/bears. - Order a bottle of Por Osos and some killer merch online https://drinkporosos.com Hey look, it's your favorite podcast hosts, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer! This week in the cave Bert kicks things off with a brand-new joke he swears is the best thing he’s ever written, before diving into an emotional (and hilarious) story about his late bull mastiff, and the wild twist involving the family dog's long-lost sister. From there, the Bears riff on straight cat dads, Bert’s “sleep divorce,” VR porn addictions, childhood prank calls, and even the lost art of memorizing phone numbers. Bert even calls his dead grandma and chit chats with scam caller live on air. The episode only gets wilder as Tom and Bert review real OnlyFans submissions from fans, debate who…

SPONSORS: - Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS. - Don’t let financial opportunity slip through the cracks, get half off your first year with promo code BEARS at https://www.monarchmoney.com/bears - As always, get your first month of BlueChew FREE Just use promo code BEARS at checkout and pay five bucks for shipping. https://bluechew.com - Sponsored by BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/bears - Download the CFO’s Guide to AI and Machine Learning at https://NetSuite.com/BEARS. We're sorry, guys! Tom and Bert are back in the cave with a full plate: Druski’s viral NASCAR “whiteface” sketch and the art of deep-cover character work, a big “Would you die for your country?” debate, and discuss why streaming giants (Kai, Adin, Jack, etc.) have completely remixed entertainment. Plus, Tom relives an electric college football weekend (FSU at home…

SPONSORS: - Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS. - For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, ED, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/BEARS - Upgrade to ShipStation today to get a sixty-day free trial at https://www.shipstation.com/cave Bert and Tom are BACK in the Cave! After a memorable summer takeover by Stavvy and Chrissy D, the OG Bears return to catch up on everything—movies, standup, gambling, insane diets, and why Bert can’t stop eating 10 egg bites at once. Tom opens up about his recent cancer-screening scare, which led to a brutal five-day water fast, and accidentally dropping 25 pounds while filming El Tigre. Bert shares why his watch doesn’t fit anymore, how he tormented his director by throwing Liquid Death cans at 4 AM, and the disgusting way he measures his weight. The Bears also dive into the future of late-night TV, Amy…

Stavros Halkias Tickets: http://stavvy.biz/tour Chris Distefano Tickets: https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/tickets SPONSORS: - Eat smart at https://FactorMeals.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50% off your first box, plus Free Breakfast for 1 Year. - Order a bottle of Por Osos and some killer merch online https://drinkporosos.com The Summer Bears’ reign has unfortunately come to an end! Stavros Halkias and Chris Distefano return for their last fill-in as hosts of 2 Bears 1 Cave, and they’re going out with a bang. From roasting Tom and Bert’s absence to spiraling into wild tangents about parenting, moving, sex robots, and pie diplomacy with the NYPD, this send-off is chaotic, hilarious, and the perfect finale. Stavvy and Chrissy talk about the shock of how much fans loved their takeover, whether they’d ever come back as the Fall Bears, and even get Bert on the phone. Tom of course doesn’t pick up. But that's okay, because Mark Normand and Sam Morril crash the party near the end, bringing eclairs and…

Stavros Halkias Tickets: http://stavvy.biz/tour Chris Distefano Tickets: https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/tickets SPONSORS: Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/bears Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/bears. If you’re 21+, try VIIA! For 15% off AND a free gift with your first order head to https://viia.co/BEARS and use code BEARS! #viiaparter Head to https://acorns.com/BEARS or download the Acorns app to get started. Stavros Halkias and Chris Distefano return for another sugar-fueled Summer Bears meltdown—this time with bagels, tiramisu, and enough food guilt to keep a Catholic therapist booked for years. The boys break down Chris’ ChatGPT pep talk, reminisce about Stavvy's golden toothless years, and spiral into a deep dive on Neapolitan ice cream fraud, gay NFL cheerleaders, and the politics of bagel orders. Also: Chris reveals his VO2 Max results from a flamboyant fitness coach who may or may not have called him “zaddy.” 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 302…

SPONSORS: - Upgrade your wardrobe and save on @trueclassic at https://trueclassic.com/BEARS! #trueclassicpod - For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, ED, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/BEARS The Summer Bears are back and Chris Distefano and Stavros Halkias are fully locked into their takeover of 2 Bears 1 Cave. With Stav in a floral shirt and Chris squeezed into a Darryl Strawberry jersey, the two dive headfirst into tales of the wild ‘86 Mets, Kevin Spacey offering unsolicited shoulder rubs, and the horrifying science of ALS—because what’s funnier than degenerative nerve disease? Stavvy also gets a massage from Chrissy, we learn about Lenny Dykstra's podcast rates, and the guys debate polyamory, prostitutes, and just how many years Bert Kreischer has left. Speaking of Bert, he sends the guys a morbid video asking them to predict which comedian friends are not long for this world. Plus, Stav makes a strong case for becoming a Japanese-style husband, Chris…

Become a paid channel member of YMH to get 2 Bears, 1 Cave episodes one day early and AD-FREE here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYIgiXwJck_Pb5Nj-wIrsqg/join SPONSORS: -Get control of your overall finances with Monarch Money. Use code BEARS at http://monarchmoney.com for half off your first year -Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/bears -Go to https://bluechew.com to get your first month of BlueChew FREE! Just use promo code BEARS at checkout and pay five bucks for shipping. -If your revenues are at least in the seven figures, download the free e-book “Navigating Global Trade: 3 Insights for Leaders” at https://NetSuite.com/BEARS . The Summer Bears are back and sweatier than ever as Stavros Halkias and Chris Distefano return to the Cave for a milestone 300th episode that somehow combines deep psychological trauma, ass-eating, and cholesterol awareness in one glorious mess. Chrissy D reveals his shocking bedtime history with his mom, his late-night transition out of her…

Check out our new summer merch at https://store.ymhstudios.com/ SPONSORS: - Eat smart at https://FactorMeals.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50 percent off plus FREE shipping on your first box. Stavros Halkias and Chris Distefano are back for round two of Summer Bears—and things spiral immediately. Dressed in their finest “Queens County court appearance” outfits, the guys dive into tales of impersonating cops, awkward court appearances, and Chris’s brief career as a physical therapist (and even briefer run-in with medical malpractice). The bears get uncomfortably honest about massages that went too far, AI-generated thirst traps, and whether or not Bert and Tom make smashable women. Plus: Stav drops knowledge about Benjamin Franklin’s revolutionary sexcapades, Chris reflects on losing MSG (but gaining perspective), and both dudes debate the pros and cons of fake tits, handy wives, and aging out of horniness. It’s unhinged, unfiltered, and definitely leading to the hosts getting fired. 2 Bears,…

Check out our new summer merch at https://store.ymhstudios.com/ SPONSORS: - Upgrade your wardrobe and save on @trueclassic at https://trueclassic.com/BEARS! #trueclassicpod - Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/bears - Sponsored by BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/bears Tom and Bert are out for the summer, so Chris Distefano and Stavros Halkias are stepping in as your substitute Bears. In this unhinged takeover, they immediately derail the show with tales of cholesterol-fueled delusion, Nazi neighbors in Queens, circumcision conspiracies, radical acceptance, berberine powder, and why 4th of July is the real American holiday (sorry January 6). The boys debate who’s the Bert and who’s the Tom in their pairing, accidentally rank the world’s races, and somehow end up talking about diabetes, Greek shame, and Japanese war crimes—all before diving into engagement stories, dad stress, and the magic of getting fat on purpose. Also, Bert…

SPONSORS: - Start your free online visit today at https://Hims.com/BEARS. - Go to https://quince.com/bears for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. - Get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at https://square.com/go/bears! #squarepod - Order a bottle of Por Osos and some killer merch online https://drinkporosos.com This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer go deep on sports. They talk about Brett Favre's fall from grace, the greatness of the 2001 Baltimore Ravens, the unbeatable aura of Tony Siragusa, and the dynamic duo of Caitlin Clark and Sophie Cunningham. Before that, Bert shares some stories about going over to T-Pains house. The bears also discuss how violence has made the WNBA more watchable, how good the ESPN "30 For 30" documentaries are, and the most unbelievable races people participate in. Plus: Bert tells a story about how he almost chainsawed a leg off on skates, the Red Bull Flutag, rat catchers, Bert's chicken murder mystery, and more! 2 Bears, 1 Cave…

SPONSORS: - Order on DoorDash and save big during Summer of DashPass. Sign up today! DashPass benefits apply only to eligible orders. Terms apply. - Sponsored by BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/bears - Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at https://BlueChew.com! And we’ve got a special deal for our listeners: Try your first month of BlueChew FREE when you use promo code BEARS -- just pay $5 shipping. - If your revenues are at least in the seven figures, download the free e-book “Navigating Global Trade: 3 Insights for Leaders” at https://NetSuite.com/BEARS - Get a 60-day free trial at https://www.shipstation.com/cave Thanks to ShipStation for sponsoring the show! This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer reunite in sunny California for a jam-packed episode full of FOMO, fatherhood, and flaming hot air balloon disasters. The bears talk about Tom’s California vacation and getting into surfing with his boys. They dig…

SPONSORS: - Use code BEARS at https://www.monarchmoney.com/bears in your browser for 50% your first year. - Get started at https://factormeals.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50 percent off plus FREE shipping on your first box. This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tom checks in on Bert’s intestine surgery and his new commitment to being loud, red, and barely alive. The Bears cover everything from Hellcats to Titanic cowards, and disgusting public behavior. They spiral into career-ending scandals — Ray Rice, Aaron Hernandez, Mel Gibson, Michael Jackson, and Hitler — and debate whether being talented enough erases your crimes. Plus: the Oceangate sub disaster, a fisherman who supposedly ate his friend, and a fascinating discussion about racist costumes, slurs, and Bert turning purple in a sauna. Also: plutonium, bad names, the lady versions of both bears, and how throwing your wife through a window could be noble. Classic Bear chaos. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 295 https://tomsegura.com/tour…